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« Countdown to FORTY | Main | TGIF - Ripped Pants »
Sunday
Sep232007

Good-Bye To Another Friend

Sometimes, the offline life reaches such a crazy-hectic pace, with the three kids, the hardworking hubby, the dog and The Life, there isn't even time to chat here on The Rebel Coffee Blog. We've had so much going on the last month, with Back To School, and then the untimely, tragic, completely unexpected death of another friend on August 20. I couldn't write about it when it happened. It's still very hard, and it has been a month already, five weeks exactly.

Todd was 35 years old, a vibrant, intelligent, outgoing, funny, openly-gay man who always reminded me of David Sedaris, but not so darkly funny. Todd had short blonde hair and these very cool glasses, and he was wonderful.

He was our across-the-hall neighbor in our midtown condo. We'd only known him for just over a year, but we met him the day we moved in: He walked into the midst of our chaos and wrapped us all up instantly in his friendship and enthusiasm. Within ten minutes, he had us all (mother-in-law included) over in his condo, showing us around, sharing decorating tips and advice.

He was a remarkable person, and he was truly the heart and soul of our community -- everybody knew Todd, and Todd made sure everybody knew and loved everybody else. He brought people together, so many diverse people, of all ages and from all walks of life. He had a zest for life that instantly attracted anyone and everyone he met.

We still don't know what happened. How he died. He was found dead in his condo, alone, after he didn't show up for work. He died Sunday night/early Monday morning. I talked to him the Wednesday before, when I bumped into him in the mail room. He was on his way to work. I was on my way back upstairs, but I rode the elevator with him to his parking deck, just to keep talking. He was so happy, so bubbly and excited about things that were happening with his marketing business. He made my day, with his sunshine and optimism.

I still can't believe he is gone. Every time I walk by his door, I listen for his music -- he was a huge ABBA and Neil Diamond fan. We loved hearing it, passing by his door, because it meant Todd was home and life was good.

I miss him so much. The kids miss him, too. Another loss, so soon after our dear friend , has been devastating. It is so hard to explain to the kids.

They asked me, "Who will move in across the hall?"
I said, "I don't know."
"Will they be as nice as Todd?"
(Among many other things, he used to throw candy down to them from his balcony overlooking the pool, and he had them over at Christmas last year, when his family was visiting and they had a chocolate fondue fountain. The kids were so impressed and amazed by Todd, every time they saw him. He was so genuinely nice and fun.)
I had to say, honestly, "No, I don't think so."

All of our neighbors, and the people in our condo community, are nice, but Todd was very special. It is a gift to treasure that we had him in our lives for a year.

In memory of Todd Deardorff, a truly remarkable man, from his Guest Book on Legacy.com:

August 22, 2007
Todd was a truly extraordinary person, and we enjoyed him so much. He will be missed. He was the first person we met at the Plaza Midtown (across the hall neighbor) and he was so welcoming and outgoing, an instant friend, as I think he was with everyone he met and pulled into his life. Our kids loved him, and the only solace we have is that we were very fortunate to have had Todd in our life for the time we did.

I saw him in the hallway last week, on Weds, and he was so happy and excited about things happening with his business. He radiated life and positive energy.

Our deepest condolences,
Sherri & Russ, Zach, Haleigh & Tiger Caldwell (Atlanta, GA)


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