Monday
Apr202009
Five Simple Ways to Get Along with the Elderly
Monday, April 20, 2009 at 09:04AM
FIVE SIMPLE WAYS TO GET ALONG WITH THE ELDERLY
from Jo Maeder, author of When I Married My Mother
My mother and I were not close when her decline began, and I had a very busy life. I was not exactly thrilled with the idea of living with her and being a 24/7 caregiver. Yet what I feared would be some of the worst years of my life turned out to be some of the best. Here are a few tips I'd like to pass on to anyone who has dealings with the elderly. -- Jo Maeder
1. Watch Your Words
The way you speak, speaks volumes. Avoid talking about them in the third person in front of them as if they weren't there. Don't yell if they're not deaf or speak to them like they're five years old. If they have dementia, try not to say "Do you remember" or "Don't you remember?" Replace "Let me help you" with "What would you like me to do?" Be gentle but firm in your communication, not condescending.
2. Mi Casa es Su Casa
If an elderly person moves in with you, integrate their belongings with yours and call it "our home," not "my home." Ideally, they should not have to negotiate stairs, or step over the side of a bathtub to get into the shower. A walk-in shower with hand railings within and without is a big help. Keep floors uncluttered. A fall at this age can have disastrous results.
3. Embrace Curiosity
Take this golden opportunity to learn as much as you can about the elderly person you are caring for. You will probably learn a lot about yourself, as well. Go through photo albums and write down anything the person remembers. Read old letters. Stir up their fondest memories. Maintain contact with the elderly person's friends. It will widen your view of life and warm your heart, as well.
4. Stress Busters
From yoga and mediation, to support groups, to anti-anxiety medications like Ativan that can be used on an as-needed basis, find what works for you to diffuse the perfectly normal anguish you are bound to feel if you love the person in decline.
5. There But For The Grace of God Go I
We've all heard this phrase many times. If you're ever unsure about what to do, ask yourself: How would I like to be treated if I were in their place? It will usually answer any questions you may have. And remember, one day you'll be elderly, too.
See the Rebel Review: When I Married My Mother by Jo Maeder.
from Jo Maeder, author of When I Married My Mother
My mother and I were not close when her decline began, and I had a very busy life. I was not exactly thrilled with the idea of living with her and being a 24/7 caregiver. Yet what I feared would be some of the worst years of my life turned out to be some of the best. Here are a few tips I'd like to pass on to anyone who has dealings with the elderly. -- Jo Maeder
1. Watch Your Words
The way you speak, speaks volumes. Avoid talking about them in the third person in front of them as if they weren't there. Don't yell if they're not deaf or speak to them like they're five years old. If they have dementia, try not to say "Do you remember" or "Don't you remember?" Replace "Let me help you" with "What would you like me to do?" Be gentle but firm in your communication, not condescending.
2. Mi Casa es Su Casa
If an elderly person moves in with you, integrate their belongings with yours and call it "our home," not "my home." Ideally, they should not have to negotiate stairs, or step over the side of a bathtub to get into the shower. A walk-in shower with hand railings within and without is a big help. Keep floors uncluttered. A fall at this age can have disastrous results.
3. Embrace Curiosity
Take this golden opportunity to learn as much as you can about the elderly person you are caring for. You will probably learn a lot about yourself, as well. Go through photo albums and write down anything the person remembers. Read old letters. Stir up their fondest memories. Maintain contact with the elderly person's friends. It will widen your view of life and warm your heart, as well.
4. Stress Busters
From yoga and mediation, to support groups, to anti-anxiety medications like Ativan that can be used on an as-needed basis, find what works for you to diffuse the perfectly normal anguish you are bound to feel if you love the person in decline.
5. There But For The Grace of God Go I
We've all heard this phrase many times. If you're ever unsure about what to do, ask yourself: How would I like to be treated if I were in their place? It will usually answer any questions you may have. And remember, one day you'll be elderly, too.
See the Rebel Review: When I Married My Mother by Jo Maeder.
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