Sherri's Rebel Blog: The Writing Lifehttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008-05-12T15:34:39ZSquarespaceLife at 40Parentinghttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/5/12/this-too-will-pass.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-05-12T15:33:43Z2008-05-12T15:33:43ZAtlanta Journal-Constitution:

Man jumped from Atlanta high-rise because he failed test
22-year-old was also upset he wasn't as smart as boyfriend

By MIKE MORRIS
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 05/09/08

A 22-year-old Atlanta man, distraught over not passing a high school equivalency test, committed suicide late Friday morning by jumping from the balcony of an 11th-floor apartment in Midtown, police said.

The man, whose name was not made public Friday afternoon, had also been upset because he believed his boyfriend was more intelligent than he, Atlanta police Lt. Keith Meadows said.

The man and his boyfriend were talking in the apartment they shared in the Plaza Midtown condominium building when the man got a strange look on his face, walked onto the balcony and jumped, Meadows said.

He landed on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant in the building, which is in on West Peachtree Street north of 8th Street.

The man had been living in the condo with his boyfriend since shortly after moving from Mexico in December, authorities said.

On so many levels, this is a horrifying news item, but it is more personal because we lived in the Plaza Midtown, on the 10th-floor, one floor down and one unit over from the condo this man, this boy, lived in. I don't remember knowing him by name, but we would have recognized his face and shared an elevator on occasion. We could see their balcony on angle from our balcony.

22 years old. I just wish someone could have told him -- that I or anybody else in that building or in his life could have reached out and let him know what took me years and years to understand in the midst of dark blue desperation and black depression: This too, will pass.

I rely on this thought quite often, for reassurance and strength, particularly in difficult times. I was reminded of this concept, or mantra, this week in Chapter 8 of Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (pages 223-224):

"According to an ancient Sufi story, there lived a king in some Middle Eastern land who was continuously torn between happiness and despondency. The slightest thing would cause him great upset or provoke an intense reaction, and his happiness would quickly turn into disappointment and despair. A time came when the king finally got tired of himself and of life, and he began to seek a way out. He sent for a wise man who lived in his kingdom and who was reputed to be enlightened. When the wise man came, the king said to him: "I want to be like you. Can you give me something that will bring balance, serenity, and wisdom into my life? I will pay any price you ask."

"This wise man said, "I may be able to help you. But the price is so great that your entire kingdom would not be sufficient payment for it. Therefore it will be a gift to you if you will honor it." The king gave him his assurances, and the wise man left.

"A few weeks later, he returned and handed the king an ornate box carved in jade. The king opened the box and found a simple gold ring inside. Some letters were inscribed on the ring. The inscription read: This too, will pass. "What is the meaning of this?" asked the king. The wise man said, "Wear this ring always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. That way, you will always be at peace."

The chapter and explanation/illustration continue, but that's the point: This too, will pass. This is what we need to teach our children, to share with troubled friends and to broadcast in the world: This too, will pass.

I wish I could explain it as well as Eckhart Tolle does, but for more, you should read A New Earth. Powerful stuff. Powerful enough to save a life.

My heart and thoughts go out to Ricardo's friends and family, and to our friends and community at the Plaza Midtown.

]]>FamilyLife at 40Holidayhttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/5/12/mothers-day-diez-de-mayo.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-05-12T01:35:42Z2008-05-12T01:35:42Z
Hope it was a wonderful day at your house and that everybody (husbands, kids, dogs, cats, etc.) treated you right.

I enjoyed a really nice Mother's Day in our new house, combined with our 13th annual Cinco de Mayo party the night before (Diez de Mayo) with the very diverse group of friends we have accumulated over our 14 years in Atlanta (the family you choose is the annual toast). We missed and celebrated our friend, Jim, who died last year in June after our last Cinco de Mayo all together.

We celebrated new life, with a new baby born April 14th (to friends, not me!) -- quite the party girl, for one so young! We celebrated a birthday (Happy Birthday, Paul!); our housewarming; a bon voyage (hubby's parents off on an extended RV tour across country); new friends and exciting news and accomplishments: I am so happy to have met Jill Fink in David Fulmer's Fiction Shop -- she may well be one of the most talented authors (as yet unpublished) I know, so remember that name and check out her blog, because someday we'll be able to say we knew her when...

Jill had a very good meeting -- really good! -- with a literary agent Saturday at the Atlanta Writer's Club Conference, and there is much to be excited about. And she brought me a Mother's Day gift bag of all kinds of body goodies from her Purple Monkey Soap Company - Natural soaps, lotions and other body products: Pink Pomegranate Sugar Scrub; Bodacious Body Butter; Top Shelf Margarita Sugar Scrub; Cooks and Gardeners Soap Bar (takes away the onion smell when you're cooking!); and testers: Foot Fetish Extreme Creme and Bug Balm. This all in addition to the incredibly-yummy "Monkey Sunshine Lip Balm" she gave me when I oh-so-graciously gave Joshilyn Jackson the Vanilla Sugar Scrub Jill had given me at our big dinner with Joshilyn in April...(sorry I got distracted there, looking through my goodie bag again -- I'm so excited, I have to go try some of this great stuff!!)

Diez de Mayo was a perfect night (except we all neglected to take any pictures!) and led into a perfect Mother's Day -- at home, in my pajamas all day, doing laundry, cleaning up, still unpacking boxes -- nevertheless, a Perfect Day.

]]>Contestshttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/5/7/contest-winner-joshilyn-jackson-books.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-05-07T15:37:45Z2008-05-07T15:37:45Z

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S
~ * ~ M E L I S S A - B. ~ * ~

Thank you all so much for your participation and enthusiasm for The Rebel Housewife Mother's Day/Joshilyn Jackson Book CONTEST! This has, by far, been our most popular give-away to date, with hundreds of rebels out there, eager to enjoy Joshilyn Jackson's books! I am pleased to announce the winner, drawn at random from all of the email entries:
Melissa B. of Marshall, MN
Congrats again, Melissa -- I hope you enjoy Joshilyn's southern flavor up there in Minnesota as much as I do here in Atlanta. (Although I'm a "yankee" in these parts, from the West Coast, and I LOVE Joshilyn's "dysfunctional redneck" (a genre all her own), as I've mentioned before -- you'll love her!)

The signed copies of Joshilyn Jackson's Gods In Alabama, Between, Georgia and The Girl Who Stopped Swimming are on their way to you!

For everybody else, do not despair! We will have more great book give-aways all summer on RebelHousewife.com. My friend at Hachette tells me she's got some fabulous Jane Porter books coming out to us next -- Jane's new book, MRS PERFECT, is a sequel to ODD MOM OUT, and then there's a new movie in production, starring Heather Locklear, based on Jane's earlier novel, FLIRTING WITH FORTY -- so we'll catch ourselves up on Jane Porter this summer, among other things, stay tuned--

]]>Contestshttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/5/1/hey-dont-forget-to-enter-the-contest.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-05-01T18:00:45Z2008-05-01T18:00:45ZThe Rebel Housewife Mother's Day/Joshilyn Jackson Book CONTEST!
Deadline to enter is Midnight (Eastern Time) Sunday, May 4th.

]]>KidsLife at 40CAMP MOMMYParentinghttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/5/1/the-adventure-of-life-summer-vacation.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-05-01T17:17:19Z2008-05-01T17:17:19ZTenants in Foreclosure tale, as I'm sure you are, too. With the exception of (not yet) returned deposits, which I'm sure will all work out in the end, it's over and Life is Good in the new fabulous house. Of course, there are still boxes EVERYWHERE, but I managed to find a missing Social Studies Time Line Report for 5th grade Drama Queen AND a missing (expensive) Math textbook for 7th grade Puberty Angst Boy in the midst of the chaos last night, so we're getting there, on as As Needed basis.

I wanted to share the Tenants in Foreclosure story because it helps -- helps someone else who might find herself in the same situation; helps with general knowledge and understanding of a mysterious and frightening process; helps us all sometimes to know that nobody's life is perfect and stuff (good sh** and bad sh**) happens all the time -- that's The Adventure.

Speaking of the adventure, we are looking at ONLY THREE WEEKS OF SCHOOL left -- arrrgghhh!!
What are YOU doing this summer?

I have been working on summer plans, camps and programs to make it through with the three kids, who will be 13, 11 and 8 this summer. It is definitely getting easier than the old CAMP MOMMY days, but it takes a computerized planning & scheduling program, practically, to coordinate all the whos and whens, not to mention the registration paperwork, medical authorizations (which normally require a visit to the doctor), transportation, deposits and, of course, the how-are-we-going-to-pay-for-all-of-this?! And then even more intriguing: We're spending so much money sending kids to summer camps and programs, we don't have enough to go on a decent family vacation...one week in paradise with kids/nine weeks at home, or three or four weeks with the kids occupied and active, having fun/six weeks at home in-between?

I'm sorry I don't have an answer to any of those questions, I was just whining a little bit and throwing it out there for discussion -- 16 days and counting down!

]]>Life at 40http://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/4/29/tenants-in-foreclosure-part-3-final.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-04-29T01:50:54Z2008-04-29T01:50:54ZTenants in Foreclosure - Part 1 and Part 2:

Suddenly, we were essentially homeless squatters in a condo we had been paying rent on for almost two years...

On March 19th, we received notice from Fannie Mae (dated March 17th), indicating we were to vacate our leased condo immediately, no later than March 18th. This was the first official notice we received that the owner of our condo had not been paying the mortgage. The condo sold back to the bank at foreclosure on March 4th.

Thursday, March 20th began the most intensive, creative, exhaustive and desperate search I can imagine by Tenants in Foreclosure to find a soft place to land: We drove the streets, we called everybody we knew with any real estate connections, we considered anything and everything. By Sunday afternoon -- still nothing.

We had kind of a Plan B, worst-case scenario: The manager of our condo building (not our property manager) had an owner of another (smaller) unit For Sale, who was willing to let us move in temporarily, with three kids, the dog and all our stuff, until we could find something, which was a very kind and generous offer. Those men, both the manager and the owner of the other condo, will be blessed with good karma, I'm sure, for their willingness to help. Still, it was a less than ideal option, for lots of reasons.

Discouraged.

In times of stress, I tend to become very new-agey and spiritual as a way to cope. (That, and Xanax, and I usually break out in Shingles, too.) Thank god I had stumbled upon The Jack Rabbit Factor/Hidden Treasures and Oprah's worldwide webcast book study with Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. While I desperately journaled and scripted and breathed to clear my chattering, overactive, freaking-out mind to find peace in The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle), my husband searched the Internet high and low, forwards and backwards, as only a truly amazing, wonderful computer-geek can...and he came up with something new, late in the afternoon on Sunday: A 3-bedroom, 3-bathroom "mid-century contemporary" house right in the neighborhood, in the school zone, in our price range (just a little over the upper limit)...with a pool?!?!

Long story short, by a miracle of God, desperate faith, the Internet and the Universe, literally at the Midnight Hour -- it was The Perfect House. I still can't believe it and I'm sitting here in it, telling you this tale just one month later.

Hubby found it listed For Sale/For Lease on a random website Sunday PM;
I called Monday AM;
We were in the house Monday at lunch
(hubby's birthday, by the way);
Verbal agreement Monday PM;
Signed the lease Tuesday AM;
Began The Move 6 days later, on April 1st.
(It took a full week to move less than three miles.)

We were desperately (there's that word again, sorry!) afraid this was all too good to be true, but I did believe, and so far it has proved to be true: When the time comes, the Perfect House will appear. (So far, so good.)

But back on March 25th, the day we signed the lease and paid the new deposit with money we didn't have, our Tenants in Foreclosure nightmare was not yet over:

On March 25th, we came home to a "Tack and Mail" notice on our door, a SUMMONS to appear in court on/before April 1st or a Writ of Possession could be issued "instanter," which we took to mean the Sheriff could be at our door to evict us on April 2nd. I couldn't schedule the moving truck before Friday, April 5th because we still had to box and pack everything up.

Ugh. The nightmare continued--

I contacted the attorney listed on this new notice, verified the April 13th deadline. Apparently, this is just a part of the legal process to eviction. No action required on our part.

On March 27th, we received another notice on our door:

"[company] has been requested to determine the occupancy status and condition of the property.

You may be eligible to receive cash assistance for relocation expenses.

All occupants should immediately contact [company] to discuss the status of your occupancy and to report any hazardous conditions affecting the property.

CONTACT [company] IMMEDIATELY FOR FURTHER DETAILS..."

I contacted this new party and, lo and behold, they offered us "Cash for Keys" ($500) to vacate (surrender) the condo in good condition, "broom-swept."

Well...we already had the moving truck scheduled; $500 would cover less than half of our "relocation expenses"; and we had not heard a word from our landlord/property manager, although we had been keeping them informed every step of the way...okay.

In the end, after a nightmarish three-day move from condo to house, we went back and "broom-swept" the condo; we did not take anything that did not belong to us (i.e. washer/dryer, appliances, fixtures), not that we would have, anyway; and we met with the [company] guy to surrender the property.

Our horrible Tenants in Foreclosure nightmare was over.

Well, not quite yet, as far as the several thousand dollars we have on deposit with the property manager, which by Georgia Law, should be safely in an escrow account. We're about to move on to another Georgia Law which provides:

Under Georgia law (O.C.G.A. 44-7-35), a landlord who owns more than ten (10) units or uses a third party to manage the units can be liable for three times the amount of the improperly withheld deposit plus attorney fees.

Ick. We're really hoping it doesn't come to that.


]]>Life at 40http://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/4/28/tenants-in-foreclosure-part-2.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-04-28T02:29:02Z2008-04-28T02:29:02ZTenants in Foreclosure - Part 1:

Suddenly, we were essentially homeless squatters in a condo we had been paying rent on for almost two years...

Breathe.
Think happy thoughts.
How much time do we have?
Research: Tenants in Foreclosure

1) Everything depends on the foreclosure laws in the state where the property is located. There is generally not much mention of, and even less "protection" for, Tenants in Foreclosure. As I said, we were lucky we had two weeks heads up--

2) It seems fairly consistent that the lease, as a lien or encumbrance junior to the mortgage, automatically terminates upon foreclosure.

3) It is also fairly consistent that banks, lending institutions and, as we learned, government agencies (Fannie Mae) do not want to be landlords -- they like their foreclosed REO property vacant and ready to sell.

4) We were pretty sure we would have, by law, 30 days from official notice of the foreclosure; possibly 60 days, since we were on a long-term lease. (We were wrong.)

We ramped up our search for a new home, thinking we had until mid-April, at least, maybe thru May, which would be great, to get to the end of the school year. It was a challenge to find a rental, with three kids in school and a not-small dog. Early in March, people are thinking about Easter and Spring Break, not moving before school is out. Everything in the rental market (I checked MLS rentals and Craigslist.com, on the hour, every hour) was either less expensive and crappy (too small/bad area/primitive/"rustic") or way beyond our price range. We considered properties outside the school district, but we dreaded that kind of upheaval and change for our kids.

Our landlord, meanwhile, was still insisting everything was fine. The property manager started avoiding us by phone and stopped replying to email. On top of everything else, we started to worry about the several thousand dollars we had on deposit with the property manager (Security Deposit and Last Month's Rent), for good reason, as it turns out (as of April 27th), but we couldn't really worry about that yet, as our primary concern was finding a place to live.

Finally, on March 19th, we received our first "official notice," of a sort, addressed to the owners "and/or All Other Residents" (in bold on the envelope).

This turned out to be a DEMAND FOR PREMISES, dated March 17, 2008:

"Please be advised that I am attorney for Fannie Mae and as such, I am advising you that Fannie Mae, as the owner of the premises, desires that you immediately vacate the premises located at...

This property was the subject of foreclosure on March 4, 2008, by reason of which Fannie Mae became the owner thereof.

This is a formal demand for possession of the above-referenced premises. You are considered to be occupying the premises as a tenant at sufferance.

Should you fail and refuse to vacate the premises by March 18, 2008, Fannie Mae will file a dispossessory action against you."

Yes, I was freaking out: What happened to our 30 days from notice, much less 60 days?! According to this, we were supposed to be out of the condo as of the day before we received this first notice in the mail.

I called the Attorney for Fannie Mae. He wasn't a very nice guy. He said we needed to get out. I told him we were current on the rent and all obligations, that we were tenants here, with three children in school, that we had no place to go yet, and what about 30 days from this, our first official notice of the foreclosure? He said we would effectively have until April 13th to vacate -- not that they were giving us time, April 13th was simply the date before any further action could be taken, as a practical matter. He said there was no legal requirement of 30 days notice and that April 13th would actually be almost six weeks from the foreclosure sale -- yeah, the sale that our landlord assured us would never/didn't happen -- aaarrrggghhh!!!

My husband called and talked to the attorney later that day to see if we could rent back or negotiate additional time. No. Dispossessory action (i.e. EVICTION) would proceed--

Things were really getting interesting now...To Be Continued...

Tenants in Foreclosure - Part 3

]]>Life at 40http://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/4/24/tenants-in-foreclosure-part-1.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-04-24T15:28:25Z2008-04-24T15:28:25Zsudden and unexpected move recently...

We were happily settled in our Midtown Atlanta condo, eighteen months into a two-year lease thru July 2008, paying our rent on time each and every month -- see Urban Pioneers. It suddenly came to our attention, on February 15th, that the owner of the condo had not been making the mortgage payments -- we discovered the condo was listed on public record for sale at foreclosure on Tuesday, March 4th -- just two weeks away.

Panic sets in.

Apparently, this experience, tenants in foreclosure, is not as unusual as we might think, with the huge increase in foreclosures because of the economy and the 'sub-prime mess.' I read a statistic somewhere in my frantic research about "Tenants in Foreclosure" that it could be expected that at least 1 in 8 foreclosures involve renters, who very often -- too often -- know nothing about the foreclosure until the Sheriff knocks on the door to evict them, because all of the paperwork is sent to the homeowner.

We were very fortunate that it came to our attention, in part because I noticed a drastic increase in increasingly formal-looking mail coming to the condo with the owner's name on it. Because we were there almost two years, we had stopped receiving mail to the owner, but then, all of a sudden, we were receiving dozens of letters, clearly not of the "re-finance your mortgage with us!" or "we can save you money with GEICO Insurance!" junk mail variety. We forwarded the letters and then bundled up a bunch to give to the property manager.

I knew there was something wrong. This was correspondence from attorney's offices and then several came along with "File No: XXXXXXX" typed on the outside of the envelope. I passed it all forward, unopened, unexamined, but then on February 15th, the second week of this deluge, I Googled the attorney's office on the Internet. Lo and behold, it's one of the largest foreclosure attorneys in the state of Georgia. And Tennessee. And right there on the website, they have "Foreclosure Listings." I had the File No. and within seconds was looking at the public record of this property listed in the foreclosure sale scheduled for March 4th.

We immediately contacted the property manager who handled our lease. The owner of the condo lives in Florida, it was an investment property, we had never met, heard from or spoken with the owner. The property manager got in touch with the owner in Florida. He then assured us that everything was all right -- the owner had made "arrangements" with the bank, the property was not in foreclosure and the owner was going to fax proof, which he would share with us to allay our fears. Everything was fine...except the proof never came, and the property remained on the foreclosure sale schedule.

We started to frantically search for somewhere to go, all the while caught in a Catch-22, since our lease was thru July 2008 and if the property was not in foreclosure and we vacated, we would then be breaking the lease. We were caught, resulting in many sleepless nights between Feb. 15th and March 4th, the day of the foreclosure sale. Still nothing but assurances from the owner via the property manager that "everything is fine" -- but it wasn't.

Finally, on the day of the foreclosure sale, I contacted the foreclosure attorney, indicating that I was very interested in the status of this property at the end of the day, since we were living in it, with three children. I received a response by email at 5:35pm that afternoon, which I forwarded to the property manager:

"The property sold back to the bank. You will likely be hearing from some representative of the lender regarding the status of occupancy. I don't know if we will be referred the matter; it might even be a real estate agent hired by the lender. I suspect that contact will be made in the next week or so..."

Super. Suddenly, we were essentially homeless squatters in a condo we had been paying rent on for almost two years...To Be Continued...

Tenants in Foreclosure - Part 2
Tenants in Foreclosure - Part 3

]]>Contestshttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/4/23/bookreportercom-mothers-day-2008.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-04-23T15:06:11Z2008-04-23T15:06:11ZAnother Fabulous Mother's Day Contest!
Between The Rebel Housewife Contest and our friends at BookReporter.com, you could have your entire summer reading library all lined up!

~ * ~ Mother's Day 2008 ~ * ~

Books Mom Will Love --
Great Reading & Mother's Day Contest!

From April 18th through May 2nd, Bookreporter.com readers will have the chance to win one of five Bookreporter.com Mother's Day floral-decorated keepsake trunks filled with goodies Mom will LOVE, as well as one copy of ALL 13 of the featured Mother's Day books. Heartbreaking and humorous, inspirational and informative, these titles are sure to make wonderful gifts for moms on their special day in May. (Approximate retail value: $315.00).

Check it out by clicking on the banner below. The banner link will also be available on Rebel Reviews through May 11th:

Good Luck in the Contest & Happy Mother's Day!!

]]>Contestshttp://www.rebelhousewife.com/sherris-rebel-blog-the-writing/2008/4/22/the-rebel-housewife-mothers-day-book-contest.htmlSherri Caldwell2008-04-22T14:26:13Z2008-04-22T14:26:13Z REMINDER: MOTHER'S DAY IS MAY 11TH!!!
I wish I could send that out to all your hubbies, sons and daughters for your benefit, but at least we'll remember for our mothers...and mothers-in-law (for god's sake, don't forget -- don't let him forget -- mom-in-law, I know whereof I speak!! ;-).

I have a wonderful present for YOU, in honor of Mother's Day, although you don't have to be a Mom to enter:

The Rebel Housewife Mother's Day
JOSHILYN JACKSON Book Give-Away CONTEST!
Ms. Jackson's publisher, Grand Central Publishing, a division of Hachette Book Group USA, Inc. (Thank You, Miriam!!), sent THREE books, one copy of each of her novels, including the newly-released The Girl Who Stopped Swimming. Joshilyn signed the books when I saw her in March, so you have the opportunity to WIN SIGNED COPIES of Joshilyn Jackson's Gods In Alabama, Between, Georgia and The Girl Who Stopped Swimming
-- all THREE to one lucky contest-winner!

We like to keep things simple:
Send an email to sherri@RebelHousewife.com
with JOSHILYN as the Subject AND
with your name & mailing address in it -- that's it!

One winner will be randomly selected from all email entries received by:

Midnight (Eastern Time) Sunday, May 4th
...so I can send it out to you on Monday, May 5th, in time for Mother's Day.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!


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