The Rebel Housewife

A heart-breaking, tragic story from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Man jumped from Atlanta high-rise because he failed test
22-year-old was also upset he wasn't as smart as boyfriend

By MIKE MORRIS
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 05/09/08

A 22-year-old Atlanta man, distraught over not passing a high school equivalency test, committed suicide late Friday morning by jumping from the balcony of an 11th-floor apartment in Midtown, police said.

The man, whose name was not made public Friday afternoon, had also been upset because he believed his boyfriend was more intelligent than he, Atlanta police Lt. Keith Meadows said.

The man and his boyfriend were talking in the apartment they shared in the Plaza Midtown condominium building when the man got a strange look on his face, walked onto the balcony and jumped, Meadows said.

He landed on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant in the building, which is in on West Peachtree Street north of 8th Street.

The man had been living in the condo with his boyfriend since shortly after moving from Mexico in December, authorities said.

On so many levels, this is a horrifying news item, but it is more personal because we lived in the Plaza Midtown, on the 10th-floor, one floor down and one unit over from the condo this man, this boy, lived in. I don't remember knowing him by name, but we would have recognized his face and shared an elevator on occasion. We could see their balcony on angle from our balcony.

22 years old. I just wish someone could have told him -- that I or anybody else in that building or in his life could have reached out and let him know what took me years and years to understand in the midst of dark blue desperation and black depression: This too, will pass.

I rely on this thought quite often, for reassurance and strength, particularly in difficult times. I was reminded of this concept, or mantra, this week in Chapter 8 of Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (pages 223-224):

"According to an ancient Sufi story, there lived a king in some Middle Eastern land who was continuously torn between happiness and despondency. The slightest thing would cause him great upset or provoke an intense reaction, and his happiness would quickly turn into disappointment and despair. A time came when the king finally got tired of himself and of life, and he began to seek a way out. He sent for a wise man who lived in his kingdom and who was reputed to be enlightened. When the wise man came, the king said to him: "I want to be like you. Can you give me something that will bring balance, serenity, and wisdom into my life? I will pay any price you ask."

"This wise man said, "I may be able to help you. But the price is so great that your entire kingdom would not be sufficient payment for it. Therefore it will be a gift to you if you will honor it." The king gave him his assurances, and the wise man left.

"A few weeks later, he returned and handed the king an ornate box carved in jade. The king opened the box and found a simple gold ring inside. Some letters were inscribed on the ring. The inscription read: This too, will pass. "What is the meaning of this?" asked the king. The wise man said, "Wear this ring always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. That way, you will always be at peace."

The chapter and explanation/illustration continue, but that's the point: This too, will pass. This is what we need to teach our children, to share with troubled friends and to broadcast in the world: This too, will pass.

I wish I could explain it as well as Eckhart Tolle does, but for more, you should read A New Earth. Powerful stuff. Powerful enough to save a life.

My heart and thoughts go out to Ricardo's friends and family, and to our friends and community at the Plaza Midtown.

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope it was a wonderful day at your house and that everybody (husbands, kids, dogs, cats, etc.) treated you right.

I enjoyed a really nice Mother's Day in our new house, combined with our 13th annual Cinco de Mayo party the night before (Diez de Mayo) with the very diverse group of friends we have accumulated over our 14 years in Atlanta (the family you choose is the annual toast). We missed and celebrated our friend, Jim, who died last year in June after our last Cinco de Mayo all together.

We celebrated new life, with a new baby born April 14th (to friends, not me!) -- quite the party girl, for one so young! We celebrated a birthday (Happy Birthday, Paul!); our housewarming; a bon voyage (hubby's parents off on an extended RV tour across country); new friends and exciting news and accomplishments: I am so happy to have met Jill Fink in David Fulmer's Fiction Shop -- she may well be one of the most talented authors (as yet unpublished) I know, so remember that name and check out her blog, because someday we'll be able to say we knew her when...

Jill had a very good meeting -- really good! -- with a literary agent Saturday at the Atlanta Writer's Club Conference, and there is much to be excited about. And she brought me a Mother's Day gift bag of all kinds of body goodies from her Purple Monkey Soap Company - Natural soaps, lotions and other body products: Pink Pomegranate Sugar Scrub; Bodacious Body Butter; Top Shelf Margarita Sugar Scrub; Cooks and Gardeners Soap Bar (takes away the onion smell when you're cooking!); and testers: Foot Fetish Extreme Creme and Bug Balm. This all in addition to the incredibly-yummy "Monkey Sunshine Lip Balm" she gave me when I oh-so-graciously gave Joshilyn Jackson the Vanilla Sugar Scrub Jill had given me at our big dinner with Joshilyn in April...(sorry I got distracted there, looking through my goodie bag again -- I'm so excited, I have to go try some of this great stuff!!)

Diez de Mayo was a perfect night (except we all neglected to take any pictures!) and led into a perfect Mother's Day -- at home, in my pajamas all day, doing laundry, cleaning up, still unpacking boxes -- nevertheless, a Perfect Day.

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S
~ * ~ M E L I S S A - B. ~ * ~

Thank you all so much for your participation and enthusiasm for The Rebel Housewife Mother's Day/Joshilyn Jackson Book CONTEST! This has, by far, been our most popular give-away to date, with hundreds of rebels out there, eager to enjoy Joshilyn Jackson's books! I am pleased to announce the winner, drawn at random from all of the email entries:
Melissa B. of Marshall, MN
Congrats again, Melissa -- I hope you enjoy Joshilyn's southern flavor up there in Minnesota as much as I do here in Atlanta. (Although I'm a "yankee" in these parts, from the West Coast, and I LOVE Joshilyn's "dysfunctional redneck" (a genre all her own), as I've mentioned before -- you'll love her!)

The signed copies of Joshilyn Jackson's Gods In Alabama, Between, Georgia and The Girl Who Stopped Swimming are on their way to you!

For everybody else, do not despair! We will have more great book give-aways all summer on RebelHousewife.com. My friend at Hachette tells me she's got some fabulous Jane Porter books coming out to us next -- Jane's new book, MRS PERFECT, is a sequel to ODD MOM OUT, and then there's a new movie in production, starring Heather Locklear, based on Jane's earlier novel, FLIRTING WITH FORTY -- so we'll catch ourselves up on Jane Porter this summer, among other things, stay tuned--

The Rebel Housewife Mother's Day/Joshilyn Jackson Book CONTEST!
Deadline to enter is Midnight (Eastern Time) Sunday, May 4th.

Okay, I'm so relieved to be done with the telling of the Tenants in Foreclosure tale, as I'm sure you are, too. With the exception of (not yet) returned deposits, which I'm sure will all work out in the end, it's over and Life is Good in the new fabulous house. Of course, there are still boxes EVERYWHERE, but I managed to find a missing Social Studies Time Line Report for 5th grade Drama Queen AND a missing (expensive) Math textbook for 7th grade Puberty Angst Boy in the midst of the chaos last night, so we're getting there, on as As Needed basis.

I wanted to share the Tenants in Foreclosure story because it helps -- helps someone else who might find herself in the same situation; helps with general knowledge and understanding of a mysterious and frightening process; helps us all sometimes to know that nobody's life is perfect and stuff (good sh** and bad sh**) happens all the time -- that's The Adventure.

Speaking of the adventure, we are looking at ONLY THREE WEEKS OF SCHOOL left -- arrrgghhh!!
What are YOU doing this summer?

I have been working on summer plans, camps and programs to make it through with the three kids, who will be 13, 11 and 8 this summer. It is definitely getting easier than the old CAMP MOMMY days, but it takes a computerized planning & scheduling program, practically, to coordinate all the whos and whens, not to mention the registration paperwork, medical authorizations (which normally require a visit to the doctor), transportation, deposits and, of course, the how-are-we-going-to-pay-for-all-of-this?! And then even more intriguing: We're spending so much money sending kids to summer camps and programs, we don't have enough to go on a decent family vacation...one week in paradise with kids/nine weeks at home, or three or four weeks with the kids occupied and active, having fun/six weeks at home in-between?

I'm sorry I don't have an answer to any of those questions, I was just whining a little bit and throwing it out there for discussion -- 16 days and counting down!