The Rebel Housewife

Good Morning!

I am working on a huge new project offline for the next six weeks, so I will be even more random on the Coffee Blog, stopping in to visit for a break every so often, which is the whole point, anyway. I can't believe the summer is over and time marches relentlessly forward so quickly now. We've already been back in school for three weeks! It is time, even giving myself the generous allowance of three weeks to TAKE IT EASY!!! -- Breathe -- Relax -- Recover, for me to get back to work, in some new and different directions, which is exciting.

With the hard-earned experience of three kids, this year in 3rd, 6th and 8th grades, an Atlanta friend asked my advice and reassurance about middle school parenting. I wanted to pass this along and mention my favorite, sanity-saving, most-helpful book for middle school parenting: not much just chillin'.

I think the big challenge with middle school is to help our children develop life strategies to deal with the world and hover as quietly as possible in the background, taking tiny, little steps back so they can make their way toward independence; learning to listen more than talk (or lecture), which is easier said than done; and, sometimes, you do have to jump in and be the Mother Hen (Mother Gorilla?!) to protect and defend, to advocate for your child, whether it is with school or social issues. It is a fine balance and, unfortunately, never perfect. But that's okay, we really weren't meant to be perfect -- where's the fun in that?!

Don't forget to email your entry by midnight on Friday, September 5th for The Rebel Housewife CONTEST/GIVEAWAY - Mom's New Year! Thanks to those of you who have been sending those in & Good Luck!!

Happy New (School) Year, Moms!

We are beginning our third week back -- I've taken two weeks' hiatus, did you notice?
It was not necessarily by plan or choice, but as a result of my experiences, I have some very important advice for parents, on Back To School:

TAKE IT EASY!!! -- Breathe -- Relax -- Recover

And then give yourself a week -- two or three, even; maybe it should be one week of recovery for each child Back To School (I still have one week left, in that case!) -- to get back into the swing of things.

I know whereof I speak:
Our first week Back To School, two weeks ago, I went a little further than crazy. I tend to be an Overachiever (not always in a good way), and too-frequently test the limits of sanity (my own, and that of everyone around me, even Mocha-the-dog, who is the only one who really listens to me, anyway, until she finally gets up and walks away to lay down in another, quieter room).

Anyway, I decided the kids were Back To School, hubby was Back To Work (after our wonderful 20th Anniversary getaway long weekend)...I should be Back To SOMETHING, too.

So in the first week of school, you know, aside from all the shopping for school supplies and preparation for getting three kids organized at two different schools; getting everybody back on the school schedule and homework routines; with three homemade lunches to pack every morning; I decided I could also handle the following:

• A Major Project Proposal I wanted to get out on Monday;
• Negotiate a Two-Book Deal w/my agent on Tuesday;
• Keep up with Rebel Housewife Blogs, Reviews & Contests as usual;
• Get the whole house back in order and FINALLY catch up with the laundry!

I bought a new DayRunner (outside)/Franklin Covey(guts) organizer -- the 2008 Weekly Planning Pages were $1.00 (normally $30) for the entire year's package at Office Depot. I thought that was a great deal for five months' calendar pages I needed (August - December) and I would be all organized and efficient in no time at all. (Hah.)

I decided to work out everyday with the new Wii Fit, while the kids were gone I would finally have a chance at the video games! That's a whole 'nother story, but that is actually the only thing I have managed to do consistently, at least for the last two weeks -- and today! -- and I am very proud of myself, for figuring it out and for keeping at it -- and, I have actually lost ONE POUND (only 19 to go)! And it's kind of fun -- no, really pretty fun, actually -- and interactive, so there you go.

As far as everything else...yeah well, it went downhill quickly: on Tuesday, I teleconferenced with my (once and now-former) agent, who brought me right back to reality on the current state of the publishing biz (not so good) and our chances (worse), without a whole lot of work. By Wednesday, I was commiserating with my best friend over lunch, which only remained non-alcoholic because the particular restaurant doesn't serve Mommy Margaritas at noon...and by Thursday, I had my first knock-down (figuratively), drag-out STALEMATE with 13yo Puberty Angst Boy (8th grade) over homework and Bonus Points:

Why would you NOT do an assignment to turn in Friday (not to have to worry about it all weekend) for an EXTRA 10 BONUS POINTS?! (Especially when it's not like you're not going to NEED those points, at some point, based on last year's grade report...)

13yo Puberty Angst Boy response: "But it's not DUE until MONDAY..."

(That's the very short version of a long argument -- I left the dinner table and hid out in my bedroom with a book; he did NOT play his online computer game all night; nor did he do the assignment.)

Aaarrrggghhhh -- is it just ME? Really?

So, trust me, dear Readers -- Happy New (School) Year, Moms!
TAKE IT EASY--

While we are on the topic of feeding kids and healthy lunches, a friend and fellow Midtown (Atlanta) Mom is conducting a professional market research survey, preparing to launch a new children's lunch product that could save us all. Please read her message below and participate in the survey -- it is easy and quick:

Hi. I am the mother of three boys, ages 8, 5 and 2 and have been researching a new product idea. I live in Atlanta, GA (Midtown) and have at times been frustrated with the lack of options available to make my boys quick, healthy, school lunches. I would value your insights on this topic to help guide my product development process.

If you are a parent of school-aged children, please take a few minutes to complete this simple survey. If you are willing to forward the link to family and friends, a sports team roster, a class email list and/or your neighborhood parent's group, I would really appreciate it.

It's easy and fun - and you might just help make history!

Here's the link: Healthy Lunch Product Research Survey

Thank you,
Elizabeth Ross Lieberman
erlieberman@yahoo.com

I am sitting here feeling worthless today (just a little bit), because I.can't.seem.to.get.anything.done...and, of course, the infamous 'To Do' list is long, and I only have THREE (3) Days of School left and I pretty much have to be at school every day for something for the rest of the week until The Big Day on Friday...

And I think I just figured it out, so I'm feeling better already:
#1 - I'm a Rebel, so all that gotta do, should do, must do, perfectly-perfect stuff...well, that's all the stuff I'm rebelling against in the first place, so therefore...the basics are covered, the family is fed, we've got groceries, we are all reasonably clean and clothed and we are on top of (for the most part) all the million little end-of-school things for three kids, i.e. textbooks and library books found and returned; teacher gifts bought and ready or donated toward; parties, events, parades and honors ceremonies calendared and designated snack/party items at the ready.

#2 - I realized while I was out & about, running around this morning, feeling guilty about the Rebel Review I haven't finished; the book group follow-up I haven't yet followed-up on; the BookReporter.com promo I still need to promo; the summer camps for which I have not yet completed registration; emails yet to answer and everything else...this is my very last day of freedom and independence, so I should probably calm the heck down and enjoy it, and you should, too. (Yes, you know who you are.)

Life goes on, anyway, and it's all good, moment by moment.
(There's Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now slipping out!)

Even during the space of writing this blog entry: My best friend called to catch up and plan our end-of-freedom & independence lunch date tomorrow, commiserating over the whole summer camp and (lack of) planning issues; My mother stopped by to pick up craigslist print-outs, which I pulled up for her and printed out because she doesn't have a computer or a car, and she really needs a new car (long story); and I got a package!

My wonderful sister-in-law sent me a brand-new pair of shoes, stunningly-fabulous gold sandals (flats) which fit perfectly and I love, love, love -- thanks, Kelly, you high-fashion best of the reps (Cutter & Buck and Born), high-powered working mom!

In October, I boldly (naively) jumped into coordinating this book group for ten 7th grade students at our middle school who had been identified as at-risk for high school graduation. (Working with the Graduation Coach at the school from CIS (Communities In Schools) of Atlanta, the nation’s largest community-based dropout prevention network.)

Ten weeks later, we had our last meeting of the Books & Breakfast Group on Monday, Dec. 17th. This was an amazing experience, as much a learning experience for me as I hope it was for them. My purpose with this, my hope, was to help them find books appropriate to their needs and interests, to engage them in conversation, spark enthusiasm and interest in skills which will help them succeed in middle school, and successfully make the leap to high school, graduation and beyond.

All ten of the kids made it through to the end and attended our last session (granted, there were Krispy Kreme donuts involved, but still--). Over the ten weeks, the kids got some refresh in media center skills, reading and how to find great books. They chose the three books we read and discussed, from the Coretta Scott King Award and Newbery Medal Lists.

By generous donation from the Midtown Education Committee/Midtown Neighbor’s Association (Atlanta), we were able to provide copies of each book for each student to keep for his/her personal library. This meant a lot to them. They were really excited about the books and engaged in the reading and discussion we did in the Monday morning meetings. They also appreciated the fruit, granola/cereal bars and juice/water from Publix at Plaza Midtown (Atlanta) each week.

There were so many special moments during the ten weeks with this group. They are busy and active 7th graders, so we certainly operated on the edge of chaos most of the time, and I learned more about Chris Brown and hip-hop than any 40 year old white woman should know! But along the way, just as one example, 3 of the 10 kids who walked into the room the first week, who were so withdrawn and apprehensive, they would barely speak to me or look me in the eye – all 3 of these kids (two girls and a boy), were reading out loud in the group by the last weeks, comfortable and confident. (If I have told you this already, you know I tend to get teary-eyed at this point!)

I think we had a couple of kids there for the food every week, and that’s okay; a couple others were there for the social event, and that’s okay, too. They all read and participated, to one degree or another.

Here’s what the kids had to say, in a brief survey at the end (I got responses from all because I exchanged a wrapped gift (another book!) for a completed survey):

What did you like best about Books & Breakfast?

• “I love it”
• “That we read more than one book”
• “We got to read and eat”
• “I like when we eat and talk”
• “That we learned a lot about people’s life”
• “I liked how we ate and read and talked about the book”
• “Everything”
• “I really would like to come back”
• “I wish we could do it again”
• "It was fun and I would like to do it again"

(They were all so disappointed, when they realized we would not be coming back after the winter break.) It is a lot of work and coordination, but all very worthwhile. These kids are and can be truly amazing, given a chance.

More info about Middle School Book Group on The Rebel Blog:
PTA Volunteer - Middle School Book Group
Middle School Book Group - 10 Great Book Selections
Middle School Book Group - Treasure Hunt & Selection
Middle School Book Group - Award Lists
Middle School Book Group - How Do You Get Them To READ?
Back To Our Normal Programming - Middle School Book Group