FAMILY FUN: Amenities & Recreational Opportunities

Portofino Island Resort & Spa - The Adventure Continues

Family Adventure Pass:

"During your entire stay, your family will have unlimited use of: kayaks, mirage kayaks, sea cycles, bikes, boogie boards, surf boards, snorkeling equipment, PLUS one family banana boat ride and one 4-hour sailboat rental with 30-minute instruction. All for $299.00."

I have come to believe that resort amenities and recreational opportunities can be a double-edged sword: fun...but, the more there is to do, the more complicated vacation becomes -- especially when you've got kids who: a) Don't want to miss out on anything; b) Are all going in different directions; and c) Quickly get bored of the "free" things and want to do all the other stuff (the stuff that is not included in the package, but is there and oh-so-tempting)...

For example, at Portofino Island Resort & Spa, there are Jet Skis and a "Water Park," not included in the Family Adventure package. The Water Park is an inflatable trampoline they anchor out in the swimming area on the Bay Side of the resort -- what used to be, in our day, a simple wooden floating dock to swim out to and lay in the sun or jump off of/push people in. Now it's a trampoline, with a slide. The kids have to wear life jackets and it costs $10 per 1/2 hour (per child) to swim out to the raft.

After checking everything else out, for about five minutes at a time, the kids wanted to go on the floating trampoline. We paid for a 1/2 hour on the "Water Park" ($10 x 3 = $30, plus tax) -- and that was it, for the rest of the weekend, that's all they wanted to do. (We only gave in the one time, but we had to hear about it all weekend!) We might be wise in the future to forego the Family Adventure Pass and use the money for 15 hours on the Water Park!

By 11:00 a.m. Saturday morning (everything opens at 10:00 a.m.), they were done with the Bay Side Family Adventure Pass activities, so we went to the swimming pools at the Lifestyle Center, which were crowded. Fortunately, they serve drinks and food poolside, which is lovely, and with some chasing about in different directions throughout the day, the Saturday of our vacation weekend passed very, very quickly.

Late in the afternoon, we decided to go down to the Bay Adventure area and have our family banana boat ride (an inflatable banana-shaped tube they pull behind a speedboat -- kind of like pulling an intertube, but with 8 to 10 people riding). It was almost time to close up for the day, but the attendant told us we'd make the last run. There were three groups of riders ahead of us, and it would take about 45 minutes. We sat down under the nearest umbrella (it was hot!) to wait it out, and the kids started pestering us about the Water Park...and then eventually wandered off to the beach and back up to the pool area.

If only we'd taken our drinks down to the Bay, to chill out and enjoy during the wait, everything would have been fine...

We waited patiently, and in good humor, enjoying the late afternoon together, even though it was hot, watching the kids and fending them off on the spend more money/Water Park thing. We watched the banana boat go out, we watched the banana boat race around the bay, bouncing the people around and tossing them into the water, and we watched the banana boat come back in. Each time, there was a group of people all life-jacketed up and ready to go. The kids kept running back and checking in, to see if it was our turn. We watched one, two, and then three, and more and more people kept showing up to ride. There was some confusion. We sat under the umbrella, and really, really wished we had brought down our Rum & Diet Cokes or the yummy, frosty Strawberry Daiquiris...

When it was our turn, and we should have been getting our life jackets on and getting ready to jump on the banana, a very irate woman stormed the banana boat shack in front of us and started ranting and raving. We knew it was our turn next, but what do you do? Rather than jumping into it and ranting and raving -- you know, we're all on vacation here! -- we eased back into our chairs to watch the show.

The kid running the beach operation was very nice, but it was a bit disorganized, and it was hot, and you could see the poor guy in a position here he did not enjoy. Ultimately, the woman decided it was her turn, and in a bold move -- one I could not have pulled off, not on vacation, anyway, when we try to maintain a strict laid-back and enjoy life/no stress policy -- the woman scooped up all the life jackets and marched back to her umbrella, yelling at her kids and bright-red husband (sunburn or something else?) to "Put on the damn jackets!"

Whoa, honey...this was pure redneck entertainment now! (Really, really wishing for those umbrella drinks...)

The banana boat came in, the woman marched her family up and stormed the boat. The attendant turned to us, apologized and told us they would make one more trip out for us, but we were laughing too hard, and the kids had disappeared again, and it was hot, and we wanted those drinks, and we told him no worries -- we'd try again the next day.