Thursday
Nov122009
Asperger's Syndrome: I'll be in my cabinet...
Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 10:13AM
@RebelUpdate Tweet of the Day:
RT @JoanCelebi: New Post: 17 Tips for Calming Your Child with Special Needs http://twurl.nl/fu7y02 (via @aspergers2mom)
26 minutes ago from Twitterrific
It has been a rough week with 9yo ADHD/Aspergers Phenom, 4th grader. The poor kid has not been able to catch a break with homework: remembering to write assignments down in his agenda and bring home everything he needs, i.e. books, worksheets, etc. This, in essence, is the one thing he must do to earn his afternoon "Computer Pass" at home, which is his most-favorite activity and incentive.
He came home Tuesday with *nothing* in his backpack...Oh, Lord...
My #1 task is to STAY CALM, because it is only when I am calm that I can help him get through any meltdown. If I get uptight and upset, if I start yelling back at him, it only feeds the fire. This is one of those home base concepts I have had to learn -- probably the exact reason this special child was given to me. So I go into CALM mode, breathe, breathe...
He goes APESHIT (the only way I can adequately describe it):
Full-out on the floor, kicking, screaming, crying, wailing, cursing life and the universe.
He had after-school plans on the computer (a full agenda, in fact -- he scribes endless To Do Lists for himself for computer time, just not schoolwork), important stuff to do on his new website and on ROBLOX.com, which is where he currently spends most of his computer time and which is an amazing game and programming environment. But he didn't have the required "Computer Pass."
Dramatic screaming and rolling on the kitchen floor (him, not me - staying calm). I *calmly* told him he would start losing time from his bedtime if he continued screaming at me, five minutes at a time. I thought I was going to lose my mind and my cool. He lost five minutes: "Bedtime at 8:25 tonight." And he stopped. Laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, he just shut it off, which was...disconcerting (eye of the storm?).
He took a deep breath, sat up and, oddly enough, crawled into one of the lower (mostly empty) kitchen cabinets. He then announced, calmly: "Fine. I'm just going to stay in this cabinet the rest of the day, then." Ummmmm...okay?
I took a deep breath, gave him a few minutes, and then I quietly gathered a few items and set them outside his cabinet door: a bagel, a flashlight and several books. I knocked on the door. He opened it. I removed a basket of plastic storage containers, really the only thing in that cabinet, and pointed to the things I had left for him. He took them inside, closed the cabinet door and said, "Thanks, Mom."
He stayed in the cabinet, what he now calls his "pantry" (he put up a sign) for a good part of the afternoon and evening, coming out for fresh supplies and a couple of cushions -- those kitchen cabinets aren't really made for butt-comfort, you know.
I'm not really sure what the moral of this story is, except to say: Sometimes, a kid just needs his space -- a small, dark, enclosed, peaceful, safe space of which he is in control. For thinking and reading. For calming down.
RT @JoanCelebi: New Post: 17 Tips for Calming Your Child with Special Needs http://twurl.nl/fu7y02 (via @aspergers2mom)
26 minutes ago from Twitterrific
It has been a rough week with 9yo ADHD/Aspergers Phenom, 4th grader. The poor kid has not been able to catch a break with homework: remembering to write assignments down in his agenda and bring home everything he needs, i.e. books, worksheets, etc. This, in essence, is the one thing he must do to earn his afternoon "Computer Pass" at home, which is his most-favorite activity and incentive.
He came home Tuesday with *nothing* in his backpack...Oh, Lord...
My #1 task is to STAY CALM, because it is only when I am calm that I can help him get through any meltdown. If I get uptight and upset, if I start yelling back at him, it only feeds the fire. This is one of those home base concepts I have had to learn -- probably the exact reason this special child was given to me. So I go into CALM mode, breathe, breathe...
He goes APESHIT (the only way I can adequately describe it):
Full-out on the floor, kicking, screaming, crying, wailing, cursing life and the universe.
He had after-school plans on the computer (a full agenda, in fact -- he scribes endless To Do Lists for himself for computer time, just not schoolwork), important stuff to do on his new website and on ROBLOX.com, which is where he currently spends most of his computer time and which is an amazing game and programming environment. But he didn't have the required "Computer Pass."
Dramatic screaming and rolling on the kitchen floor (him, not me - staying calm). I *calmly* told him he would start losing time from his bedtime if he continued screaming at me, five minutes at a time. I thought I was going to lose my mind and my cool. He lost five minutes: "Bedtime at 8:25 tonight." And he stopped. Laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, he just shut it off, which was...disconcerting (eye of the storm?).
He took a deep breath, sat up and, oddly enough, crawled into one of the lower (mostly empty) kitchen cabinets. He then announced, calmly: "Fine. I'm just going to stay in this cabinet the rest of the day, then." Ummmmm...okay?
I took a deep breath, gave him a few minutes, and then I quietly gathered a few items and set them outside his cabinet door: a bagel, a flashlight and several books. I knocked on the door. He opened it. I removed a basket of plastic storage containers, really the only thing in that cabinet, and pointed to the things I had left for him. He took them inside, closed the cabinet door and said, "Thanks, Mom."
He stayed in the cabinet, what he now calls his "pantry" (he put up a sign) for a good part of the afternoon and evening, coming out for fresh supplies and a couple of cushions -- those kitchen cabinets aren't really made for butt-comfort, you know.
I'm not really sure what the moral of this story is, except to say: Sometimes, a kid just needs his space -- a small, dark, enclosed, peaceful, safe space of which he is in control. For thinking and reading. For calming down.
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