Monday
Sep282009
Mid-Life Assessment
Monday, September 28, 2009 at 08:30AM
Sometimes I feel like there is so much to say, to talk about, to write...it is almost overwhelming. Is anybody listening anyway? Does any of it really matter? In the end, the abundance of ideas, thought and potential communication is, strangely enough, paralyzing and can keep one from accomplishing anything at all -- well, at least what was intended, on the To Do List. There is no question of accomplishment, by the very fact of getting through each day with self, family and home mostly intact. It's just that damn list -- it never goes away!
Okay, that's going to worry some people. But it shouldn't. I'm fine, everybody and everything is great and life is good. I'm just going into October, my season of inspiration and renewal, wondering what the heck I'm doing in life, with my life. When I turn 42, one month from yesterday, will I finally have it all figured out? I don't think so.
Uh-oh. Mid-life assessment, is that what this is?
Am I who/what/where I thought I would be?
No, but...
Am I happy with who/what/where I am?
Yes, but...
What to do with the time I have left, always realizing that could be another 42 years, 42 hours or 42 minutes...wouldn't that be creepy, if in 42 minutes...well, check on me at 10:28AM, okay? I'll Twitter something on @rebelupdate, where I have been very active and chatty and networking, loving the Twitter in 140-character sound bites -- donut-holes of thought -- fast-moving conversation and information.
The blogging, quite honestly, starts to feel like a lonely, desolate wasteland, where we're all just writing, writing, writing...but nobody has time to listen, to read, to respond or interact anymore. I am guilty of that myself.
I'm not sure what to do about that yet, but I'm going to go read and meditate, and in the Silence, find the inspiration and answers to these most fundamental questions -- and if not that, at least the answer to what to do next. And then I'll Twitter.
Okay, that's going to worry some people. But it shouldn't. I'm fine, everybody and everything is great and life is good. I'm just going into October, my season of inspiration and renewal, wondering what the heck I'm doing in life, with my life. When I turn 42, one month from yesterday, will I finally have it all figured out? I don't think so.
Uh-oh. Mid-life assessment, is that what this is?
Am I who/what/where I thought I would be?
No, but...
Am I happy with who/what/where I am?
Yes, but...
What to do with the time I have left, always realizing that could be another 42 years, 42 hours or 42 minutes...wouldn't that be creepy, if in 42 minutes...well, check on me at 10:28AM, okay? I'll Twitter something on @rebelupdate, where I have been very active and chatty and networking, loving the Twitter in 140-character sound bites -- donut-holes of thought -- fast-moving conversation and information.
The blogging, quite honestly, starts to feel like a lonely, desolate wasteland, where we're all just writing, writing, writing...but nobody has time to listen, to read, to respond or interact anymore. I am guilty of that myself.
I'm not sure what to do about that yet, but I'm going to go read and meditate, and in the Silence, find the inspiration and answers to these most fundamental questions -- and if not that, at least the answer to what to do next. And then I'll Twitter.
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