Tuesday
Jan042005
Happy New Year 2005: The State of The Rebel
Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 10:57AM
Five years later, on the way out of the new neighborhood, I really, really miss my old neighbors--the ones I haven't lived next to for five years. They were here with us to celebrate New Year's Eve--I'm going to be in recovery all week! Fortunately, this gives me time to pause (and a great excuse to stay in my pajamas all day!), to reflect on last year and look forward to 2005. It's a brand-new year, and before we go off on well-intentioned resolutions and unrealistic promises, let's face the facts:
I am 37 years old. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm trying to be fine with it. My husband is still two years older than me, and always will be, hot gardeners notwithstanding. (Actually, we don't have any hot gardeners, but did you get the pop culture reference?) After sixteen years of happily ever after, not only is he (finally!) properly trained, he's still got it going on--and that's a very good thing. I am, happily, not a desperate housewife, but I've been there, done that (well, some of it)--and I love that show!
We have three terrific children, who are a constant source of wonder, amazement, joy, and vein-popping frustration at times, too:
We have the 10-year-old Scientist and Deep Thinker. If only we can keep him away from the Dark Side and encourage him to use his genius for good and the betterment of mankind, instead of new and better ways to terrorize his sister,
The 7-year-old Drama Queen: A beautiful girl who can go from the sweetest angel (almost saccharine--think Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver) to the demon seed in five seconds flat--ACT-ING! We're simply trying to program her to not make us grandparents for at least twenty years.
And then there's the 4-year-old Ladies' Man, a devilish blonde Tony Hawk/Bam Margera kind of kid--DAREdevilish, that is. He is enjoying pre-K as the only boy in a class with fourteen girls, including two teachers, doting on and chasing after him. He has no complaints!
We started the year with two, and one old dog remains of the Shaney & Data duo. We miss our chubby little Data-Dog, who went in her sleep in June, which is not a bad way to go. This was the first New Year's Eve, in the twelve years she has been with us, that Shaney wasn't terrorized by fireworks. For one thing, we weren't supposed to have any fireworks this year, after a troubled Fall with our litigious next-door neighbors (fireworks would be just one more thing in a long list of complaints and psychosis); but a good old redneck tradition (those fun-loving old neighbors!) is hard to break, and the fireworks snuck out at midnight. Didn't bother Shaney, though, and she is finally over her terror of thunderstorms, too. We have tried everything over the years, including veterinarian-prescribed doggie Valium to help our anxiety-prone canine--ultimately, nature has taken care of it: She's gone deaf, and doesn't hear anything anymore, except occasional voices or kitty-cat sounds in her head that cause her a great deal of excitement and prompt hours of non-stop barking at nothing at all.
Family and friends, love, health, happiness, and sweet, old dogs--these are the things that matter. And I am blessed. 2004 was a good year: I published my first book, and I'm not in jail--that's a lot to be said!
Okay, do you want the short version on the jail story? This relates to the whole neighbor thing...old and new, good and bad: Two year saga...Crazy neighbor...Big, old LIVE tree (among so many other issues)...Leaves in their new pool...Neighbor drags us into court over the tree on a CRIMINAL housing code violation (friends in high places?)...I plead the case (I was home, I got served, I didn't know we were facing heavy fines and jail time)...After a very long, harrowing two hours in front of the judge--over a tree--justice (and sanity!) prevails...Not Guilty!
A tree stands in Buckhead...
2005 will be fabulous: I have a 20 year high school reunion to look forward to--I can't even believe that myself. We hope to sell the big house and move out of Stepford. I hope to publish my second book! I will be a better Rebel Housewife...I hope to inspire millions to join The Rebellion: Live, Love & Laugh. As far as PERFECTION goes: get over it!
I weigh twenty pounds more than I should, but twenty pounds less than I did January 1, 2004, so that's a good thing, but we don't even want to go there--no resolutions, that's just too much pressure.
So here we go--Happy New Year ya'll!
Peace, love, health, and happiness in 2005--
I am 37 years old. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm trying to be fine with it. My husband is still two years older than me, and always will be, hot gardeners notwithstanding. (Actually, we don't have any hot gardeners, but did you get the pop culture reference?) After sixteen years of happily ever after, not only is he (finally!) properly trained, he's still got it going on--and that's a very good thing. I am, happily, not a desperate housewife, but I've been there, done that (well, some of it)--and I love that show!
We have three terrific children, who are a constant source of wonder, amazement, joy, and vein-popping frustration at times, too:
We have the 10-year-old Scientist and Deep Thinker. If only we can keep him away from the Dark Side and encourage him to use his genius for good and the betterment of mankind, instead of new and better ways to terrorize his sister,
The 7-year-old Drama Queen: A beautiful girl who can go from the sweetest angel (almost saccharine--think Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver) to the demon seed in five seconds flat--ACT-ING! We're simply trying to program her to not make us grandparents for at least twenty years.
And then there's the 4-year-old Ladies' Man, a devilish blonde Tony Hawk/Bam Margera kind of kid--DAREdevilish, that is. He is enjoying pre-K as the only boy in a class with fourteen girls, including two teachers, doting on and chasing after him. He has no complaints!
We started the year with two, and one old dog remains of the Shaney & Data duo. We miss our chubby little Data-Dog, who went in her sleep in June, which is not a bad way to go. This was the first New Year's Eve, in the twelve years she has been with us, that Shaney wasn't terrorized by fireworks. For one thing, we weren't supposed to have any fireworks this year, after a troubled Fall with our litigious next-door neighbors (fireworks would be just one more thing in a long list of complaints and psychosis); but a good old redneck tradition (those fun-loving old neighbors!) is hard to break, and the fireworks snuck out at midnight. Didn't bother Shaney, though, and she is finally over her terror of thunderstorms, too. We have tried everything over the years, including veterinarian-prescribed doggie Valium to help our anxiety-prone canine--ultimately, nature has taken care of it: She's gone deaf, and doesn't hear anything anymore, except occasional voices or kitty-cat sounds in her head that cause her a great deal of excitement and prompt hours of non-stop barking at nothing at all.
Family and friends, love, health, happiness, and sweet, old dogs--these are the things that matter. And I am blessed. 2004 was a good year: I published my first book, and I'm not in jail--that's a lot to be said!
Okay, do you want the short version on the jail story? This relates to the whole neighbor thing...old and new, good and bad: Two year saga...Crazy neighbor...Big, old LIVE tree (among so many other issues)...Leaves in their new pool...Neighbor drags us into court over the tree on a CRIMINAL housing code violation (friends in high places?)...I plead the case (I was home, I got served, I didn't know we were facing heavy fines and jail time)...After a very long, harrowing two hours in front of the judge--over a tree--justice (and sanity!) prevails...Not Guilty!
A tree stands in Buckhead...
2005 will be fabulous: I have a 20 year high school reunion to look forward to--I can't even believe that myself. We hope to sell the big house and move out of Stepford. I hope to publish my second book! I will be a better Rebel Housewife...I hope to inspire millions to join The Rebellion: Live, Love & Laugh. As far as PERFECTION goes: get over it!
I weigh twenty pounds more than I should, but twenty pounds less than I did January 1, 2004, so that's a good thing, but we don't even want to go there--no resolutions, that's just too much pressure.
So here we go--Happy New Year ya'll!
Peace, love, health, and happiness in 2005--