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« The Meaning Of Life | Main | The Neighbor Résumé »
Monday
Jun182007

A Time For Sorrow

I have lost all focus today, this week. Our very good friend, who was sick, battling Leukemia for the last 14 months, died Sunday morning, Father's Day, at home with his wife. He is out of pain, at peace, and that is a good thing. He was able to say goodbye to everyone, and help his wife prepare for the journey ahead. There is some measure of relief that his suffering was not prolonged.

Over the last six weeks, I got to see him, to visit several times at home, and he was doing well. And even though there was obvious decline, in his weight, in his strength, in his indomitable will, it is still a shock. I can't believe he is gone.

For lots of reasons, but most of all because of the solid, good ol' southern boy that he was, I really thought he would beat this thing, as he has everything else in the last 13 years since we became neighbors, and then friends -- including his wife's cancer five years ago. He got her through that, single-handedly, single-mindedly, and there was never a doubt in my mind that he'd beat it too, all evidence to the contrary during the last six weeks.

Over the last 13 years, for me and my husband, and for our three children, this man has been a pillar of our rag-tag, close-knit community from the old neighborhood; a group of friends that became family as the kids grew, even as we all eventually moved away from the neighborhood.

For my kids, he has always been there, since birth, even after we moved (twice!): birthdays, parties, crises, events, holidays -- especially Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, weddings, births, deaths, emergencies, poker nights, Margarita Nights, Cinco de Mayo, acts of law, acts of nature...

I thought he would always be there for them, for us, in the years and decades ahead, more of the same. And we do have his wife, our friend and part of our family, who will need us more than ever, and we will be there for her.

In dedication to our dear friends, since all the good parts regarding neighbors in the last 13 years were about them, have a look back on The Rebel Housewife from August 2004 - Neighbor Résumé .

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Reader Comments (3)

Sherri, my heart is hurting for you...and it hurts more because its hurting for me too. Your loss brings back mine and I think about where you are and what's ahead. It is that surreal feeling. The one where you do the double take at the grocery store or go to pick up the phone then you remember. Its such strange times. I'm not even going into the world of comforting cliches - they're too nicey-nice and this runs too deep! Here's an over the cyberspace hug...
June 19, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSue Olson
I'm so sorry, Sherri.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your good good good ol' boy friend and neighbor.

He and his wife sound like the type of long-term friend I pray for.

I hope you and his family and friends make it thru this pain.

God bless you all,
Paula
June 19, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPaula Neal Mooney
Thank you, my wonderful efriends.

Sue, I appreciate the hug, and the knowing...you know? It's already so strange as I'm planning birthday parties and events through the summer, less one...first is the funeral on Thursday, which is just.so.WRONG.

Paula, you are a Rock Star, girl. I hope everyone would have such friends, online and in the real world. It took me a long time to realize, it just doesn't happen every day, which makes me hold them ever closer and more dearly.
June 19, 2007 | Registered CommenterSherri Caldwell

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